So this guy talked to me on OKC.....

I have nothing to say beyond the text of the actual IM conversation that went on. I thought it was hilarious and I wanted to show you guys what he said:

JoeStLouis:If I told you I was God would you pray to me?

JoeStLouis:Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

AngBird:say yes to what?

JoeStLouis:No idea. You're the first person I've tried that BS on

AngBird:wow... lol that was actually kinda funny

JoeStLouis:Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

AngBird:wow.... clearly someone has put WAYYYYY too much thought into this

AngBird:mad props on the originality and the extremely drawn out story

AngBird:but no thanks...

JoeStLouis:linesthataregood.com

AngBird:I hope it works on someone for you though..that was quite humorous.

JoeStLouis:copy paste....duh

#TweetsByReceipts

THE TALE OF SIX RECEIPTS!!!!!

I was scheduled for work today at 6:30AM!!! UGH how boring! What's worse is that I FORGOT MY PHONE! Ok... I am not one to really screw around at work. I work very hard, but at the Kaldi's station in my store, it gets boring, and frankly...nobody comes by there, except at lunch. In which case..I work REALLY hard.

No tweeting for me today, which made me sad, until I found a pen, and realized that there was ample amount of receipt paper. This is when I decided to start writing down my tweets that I would post later. I called them #TweetsByReceipts. I won't post up here, but if you want to read them, you can look at the pictures of the receipts. There were a TON of them (80 something). But I did post them all up on my stream and got very great reviews back! Including the following:

So here are the receipts of the posts I made:

So that is the end of this story. It was very much TONS of fun.. Now it's time for a nap!

My Cheese has been moved again.

It's that time again to get personal. I generally don't like blogging personal stuff anymore. I try to be a little more analytical and want this blog to be more of a review of my thoughts than a completely thought based blog, however sometimes I really can't help but want to write out everything I am thinking. It's therapeutic I guess.

A few weeks ago, Drew and I's relationship came to an end. We broke things off in order to focus on ourselves and our own careers. It was mutual, mostly....sort of. It was more like he broke it off, and I agreed. I didn't fight for him, I figured I couldn't change him. Every book I have read on break ups (because I have found myself reading a lot of them lately) has said to not talk tot he person for 60 days. No text, no call, no facebook, no drunk dials, no nothing. Considering he was an ex, this was difficult. Considering he's still my best friend, that is impossible. I can't even imagine not talking to my casual friends, much less the person I feel like understands me more than anyone else.

Last night, I couldn't take it anymore and I called him up, saying I had some things I needed to talk to him about. I asked if we could go somewhere to talk. He agreed. We went to Brewskeez in O'Fallon, MO, and I was very honest and forthcoming with him about everything I had been thinking. I told him that I wanted him back, and that I would accept it if he didn't feel the same way. I told him that if he didn't love me in the same way, I would accept it, but that if he was breaking up just out of fear, that he has to give me the benefit of the doubt. At that point, I had no idea which one it was. I don't think he really did either. He sat there a long time and thought about it.

It was a very big closure moment for me. As much pain as I am in at the moment, I know WHY I am in this much pain now. I have an ending to it. I know it's just going to take time now. There is one thing he did say that made it much easier. He did state that this not talking crap is indeed that....Crap. We agreed that our friendship is the most important thing at this point, and we can't afford to lose one another in that way, so the rule is...there is no rules. If I want to call him after class to talk to him bounce policy ideas off of him, I am certainly in right to do so, and if he wants to call me to get a second opinion about computer hardware or technical upgrades, I will totally give my input. As well, if we want to go shooting, or hang out in any way, we totally can.

It's stupid that unless you share a child and are forced to see one another, you aren't supposed to see or talk to your ex. That's the dumbest rule on the planet. Some friends have told me that it will be super hard to do what we want to do, but he and I both think it's worth it. Over the last few weeks, I felt like I went from being in love with a guy I thought I was going to marry, to losing him AND my best friend in the whole world. Now at least I feel like I have my best friend back.

I'm in more pain than I can even begin to describe, however I know there is an ending to that pain, eventually...and I am ready to start heading down that road to recovery. Needless to say, I won't be dating anyone, for quite some time. My heart is broken, and I need to sort the pieces out, before I start gluing them back together.

Tweeting for the Public Good | GOVERNING

Tweeting for the Public Good GOVERNING

It's about time someone spoke out about how important social networking is to public agencies and the service they provide to their constituents. This particular topic talks about how not only should agencies be more open to the idea of allowing social networking sites on their network (rather than restricting it from their employees), but also the tools to help teach employees the difference between blogging as a representative of the agency, and as a private citizen.

2010

A new decade is upon us, and I feel compelled to talk about it.

Quoting the NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/12/31/world/AP-World-New-Year.html): ''The year that is ending has been difficult for everybody. No continent, no country, no sector has been spared,'' French President Nicolas Sarkozy said on national TV in a New Year's Eve address. ''Even if the tests are unfinished, 2010 will be a year of renewal,'' he added.

I could not agree more! As I look back to my life, I have noticed a pattern in the last decade and a half. The 1980s were about lets get through this cold war, and put it to an end, lets try to recover from this downturn economy from the late 1970s. The 1990s were thus a time where we actually were flourishing! Then the new millennium hit.

As a child, I didn't feel the great economic boom in the 1990s. Mom was going to school, and frankly, I was a child that was protected under my mom's care. As an adult in the first decade of the 21st century, I felt economic hardship all over the place, and the majority of it hit hard in 2009.

Fortunately, this new decade is one of hope and of renewal. 2009 was slightly better than 2010 in some cases, but much worse in others. I imagine 2010 will be financially a feasible year for me (I just hope to get all my bills paid).

Regardless of how many struggles I have been through in the last decade, or the amount of struggles I will go through in the next, they have all and will all make me a better person. I am nowhere near the same person I was in 1999, or even in 2007. I am excited to find out what life will be like in 2019... woo... I'll be 34. *Shivers*

Happy New Year Everyone!!

it's 3:45am and I have to work at 10.

Of course, I'm so worried about it, right?!

I was just thinking about the way things tend to pan out. People come and go in your life, and you don't really understand why they are there. I have many friends that I have met throughout my life that I have not quite understood their purpose. I know it's there, and I am sure if I think aobut it hard enough, I can see why I am there for them, or they are there for me, but never usually both. Beyond the philosophical reasoning, it is nice to have those great friends that you can pick up with, as if they were there yesterday, when over the last year and a half, you haven't spoken more than a few sentences to one another.

It's not to say me and this friend weren't on speaking terms, far from it. It was merely that life had caught up with us both. I was happy when we reminisced of the good ol' days, and then laughed, because that was only a year and a half ago. LOL

It's like we said when speaking, "We're in our mid to late twenties and we are remeniscing about our early to mid twenties"

Good times.


Another thing, are there true friends on the internet? Can you really have a "true friend" that you've never met in person?

I say yes. I say as long as there is that connection, as long as you have the things in common that can make you a compattable friend with another, then a "true friend" can exist via the internet. Anything more may be pushing it...that theory must wait for another time though..

Should be writing a paper

I can't seem to get myself motivated to write my 15 page paper that's due on Thursday, nor am I motivated to study for tomorrow's Econ final. Instead, I find myself distracted, in my own thoughts. I tend to go in tangents with my thoughts and can't get going on what is important in my immediate life, until I get those thoughts out. Here it goes.

Last night, I spent the night at Drew's new apartment for the third night in a row. I wasn't planning on it, but I needed to get away, for reasons I won't explain here. This past weekend, I watched him move into this new place with his best friend, Melissa. He truly has style and grace with his surroundings. He understands color, texture, shape, dimension...all of the things that normal straight men don't understand. I'm not sure why I was all that surprised, he was a theater major in college (theater tech, but still, surrounded by those that have this innate ability to coordinate).

He knows how to set the aesthetic mood...just another reason why I melt every time I look at him, and my heart almost skips a beat when he calls.

It's three months into the relationship, and I still have the same butterflies that I had in the beginning. I wonder if that's because he's truly the right someone for me, or because it's still too new. There's really no way to tell at this point, but I'm hoping it's the former.

I can imagine him reading this post and thinking "Angela, get your stuff done, I won't see you until you do" which is part of the reason I want to get this post out of the way as soon as I can. I would like to clear my thoughts, because I know that as soon as this happens, I will write my paper, with the motivation to see him again.

He told me the other night, "I want you to get through grad school, and get out there in the world, doing what you've always wanted" I feel like he truly believes in my goals, my dreams, and my aspirations. In many ways, we are in almost identical points in our lives. He's got his future in his grasp, and I am just shy of reaching mine.

With some of the previous men I have dated, I felt like I was always settling in some way,shape, or form. I don't feel like this at all with Drew. If anything, I feel lucky that I get the complete package; something I don't feel I have really ever had.

It's amazing how life can be so screwed up sometimes. When I had a job, I felt like I was finally becoming financially stable, and I was fairly low in stress, my dating life was horrible. Now it's the opposite. I really hope that within the next few months, things start to lighten up in the parts I'm lacking. I need to get a job. At this point, I don't care what it is, as long as it will allow me to pay my bills and move out of Neale's house. I also really hope that I can fulfill my conditional acceptance and pass Microeconomics in the fall with a B or better. I really feel like I finally understand this crap, and I really need to prove it to Brady, everyone else at the UMSL MPPA program, everyone who doubted me at Mizzou, and to myself. I have many people behind me, but I need more support. I need all the support I could get.

Drew helps me motivate myself everyday. He reminds me why I'm in grad school, he motivates me to push forward, and he inspires me to complete my goals. He really is my best friend...

And now for that paper...

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Most of that ceremony tore me to pieces. I don't ever usually cry over anything Al Sharpton says, however when he said "To Michael's Children: There wasn't anything strange about your daddy. What was strange was what he had to deal with" it really made me ball.

I cried because I can't imagine the pain he had suffered. A lot of people said he was messed up in the head. I believe he was a misguided soul with good intensions and a good heart. He had pain from his childhood, that haunted him his whole life. Though his career was successful and amazing, it robbed him of his childhood, and often caused him as an adult to regress back to a child-like state.

Beyond the musical talents that he posessed, he always cared about other people. You could hear it in his songs, you could see it in his charity towards others, and you could understand it through his person, even if you didn't know him up close.

The memorial today was very tasteful as well as beautiful. I broke down when Paris Jackson, his only daughter spoke but a few words, breaking down and crying, because I know she loved her father, much like I loved mine. Those of you that have never had a parent die on you, it feels like a hole has been ripped out of you. A chunk of you is missing, and will never be recovered, until the day when you will meet again. It feels like a piece of you had died as well. I understand her pain, and I really wish she had not had to go through that pain so early in life.

Rest in Peace, Michael Joseph Jackson, King of Pop, Greatest Entertainer of all time!

Is it really change, or is it just realization of who we were the whole time?

I have been looking at econ notes for several hours. My anxiety of last year feels like it is coming back, but I am looking at it this time in a completely different perspective. I have changed completely over the past year. From a girl who was naive, depressed, tired, to one that feels intelligent, loved, and one who has the inspiration and perseverance to make it through anything.

After Dad died, I lapsed for a couple months. I fell completely in love with a man that seemed right for me in almost every way. The almost part came from my place in life at the time. I really hope he's happy with his new girlfriend. She seems really great for him...much like Drew is for me. Even though we didn't work out, he definitely taught me what a real, adult relationship is really like. I felt like in the 5 or so months we were on, and off, and on again...I really learned how to be the best girlfriend I could. The problem was all timing. I had too much on my plate....most of which had to do with my emotions over my recently deceased father. He helped me grieve through that, and among everything else, he taught me what a dedicated, hopeful, intelligent, traditional man would be like. Much of the features he had, I went out looking for, and eventually found in Drew. I have this man I briefly dated for that.

Drew, really is the complete package for me. I wake up everyday feeling lucky that I even found someone who really understands me the way he does. I was talking to Neale the other day about the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship. How long it lasts, what are the effects, and what it really consists of. I think we determined that the length of time of "honeymoon" stage depends on the two people involved combined with their experiences, and the stage itself consists of spontaneity combined with a certain sense of newness and a healthy dose of idealism.

As our schedules have become more synchronized, I have noticed the closeness is unlike anything I've previously experienced. Normally, in relationships, I have found myself quickly jumping into something serious with the man I was with at the time, only to lose sight of the obvious trivial differences that a few months down the road would cause pot holes and an awfully bumpy ride down to an eventual ending of the relationship.

I found myself walking into my current relationship with a very different perspective. My head seemed to be perfectly level on my shoulders, and my feet were planted securely on the ground. In fact, I didn't think much about the first date, prior to it's conception. After meeting him, I was completely amazed as to the kind of man he seemed to be. Eight hours we spent on that first date, getting to know one another, and another six hours on the second date, nearly 24 hours later. Within that one weekend, I had been made aware of a man that never in a thousand years believed would have existed. Of course, I wasn't 100 percent sure that what I had anticipated about Drew was indeed the case.

After being with him for a few months, making time out at least three times or more a week, talking almost every night, and really getting to know his inner self, a curiosity, turned instant attraction has evolved into a love beyond anything I could have previously imagined.

I am not going to say that we are exactly alike. Someone exactly like me, I've learned is both impractical, and unlikely to be a formula for success. Instead, I've learned that what makes for a great match between lovers, is enough differences to make for great conversation and appeal, mutual respect of those differences, and a commonality in morals, desires in one another, some interests that both people can relate to, and amazing dedication & honesty. This doesn't begin to touch the surface as to why I think this relationship is different than anything else I've experienced prior, and why I feel that this man is really someone I can see a future with.

I want so badly to get fully accepted (beyond this conditional acceptance), finish my graduate degree, and break into city management. Every time I see Drew with his business partners, Gabe & Dan, testing equipment in the warehouse, talking about upcoming gigs, and their goals for the next few months, I become extremely inspired. He's doing exactly what he wanted to do with his life. His dream job is sustaining itself, and it's one client away from sustaining him and his partners as well. He's got his dream in the palm of his hand, and he's just working out the minor details. He inspires me to really work for what I want in life for myself, and for us together.

He will be going to Cincinnati, OH this week starting on Thursday, and won't be back until Monday. Conveniently, I will be studying for my very stressful microeconomics midterm for Monday night's class. I think it's quite hilarious how he seems to go out of town at the perfect times. It's like we plan it that way, but there's no way we really could, honestly.

Beyond everything else, Drew really pushes me to be the best Angela I could possibly be. He makes me feel beautiful, every time I see him. The best part about all of this, is that he's so incredibly modest. He doesn't realize how great he is, so he has no reason to be cocky about it.

....totally thought this post was going to be about school. guess I went off topic.

Frustrations of a Calla Lily

On our first date, Drew gave me beautiful purple and white Calla Lily's potted in plant form. He said that he knew those were my favorite flower and wanted me to enjoy them as long as possible. Unfortunately, I live in a house that is well controlled in terms of climate and is thus almost never humid. The breed of Calla Lily that he gave me were Zantedescia which are from South Africa. They are used to a humid soil. I have had several buds multiply but then die over the last month and a half and I've almost given up. I'm going to see if watering it twice a day will help.

Econ is driving me crazy. I understand it, but I didn't do so well on the last homework assignment, mainly because I made stupid mistakes and second guessed myself. This is why I am going to make an effort to work on my studies tomorrow. I need to read through these chapters and really make sure I have a solid understanding of it before the midterm.

Drew is meeting the fam this weekend. On Saturday, I plan on being in the St. Charles, MO Fourth of July parade. I have to be downtown by 7:30am (UUUUGH) and drive a go-cart (YAY). After that, we are going to make an appearance at my sister's house where her, my brother in law, mom, kellene, and the kids (with tons of extended family and in-laws family that will also be there). From there, I told Linda (my other sister), that we would stop by for a few. It should be good times. I can't wait for them to meet him. I really hope they all like him as much as I do.

Well...I suppose it is time for bed. Night