Skip forward nine months later and here I am, coming home from one of the most amazing dates I think I've been on, and I think of this book. I became curious. When I got home from work/school, I went to my bookshelf and pulled out the pink book with the picture of empty Chinese food containers and fortunes unwrapped reading "you have bad taste in men" and "He's not going to call". I quickly skipped forward to the chapter eighteen in the section called "Dating Up A Storm". The Chapter is called Seventeen dates, basically giving the impression that after a break-up, it takes approximately 17 bad dates before enduring one good date.
The author clarifies that bad doesn't mean you didn't have a good time, but that for whatever reason, the date isn't what you are looking for. Likewise she never truly states this, but judging by the way she describes each date, that it doesn't have to be a well defined date, but rather an in person experience with a member of the opposite sex (in a more than friendship way), for the intension of something more.
The reason why I thought after nine months not just of this book but of this specific chapter in the middle of my shift at work today, is because I realized that as funny as this woman truly was when I was reading it, there is some truth to her wisdom.
My most recent ex and I broke up last June, and since then, I have had some pretty interesting dating experiences which I will tabulate at this point. I am going to try and put these in the order in which they happened, however I will NOT be perfect in this, considering that it has been five months and I haven't really kept tabs officially.
Date #1 - British Sheldon was a tall cute British guy that I went to the roller derby with. He described himself as "the British Sheldon" or at least he said his work buddies described him as that. If you don't know what that is in reference to, there is a prime time television show called "The Big Bang Theory" that basically describes a bunch of ultra science nerds, and Sheldon is the staple of the show that basically is socially awkward, and extremely literal to the point where he doesn't understand sarcasm at the most obvious points. This guy's colleagues couldn't have been more correct. No thanks.
Date #2 - Double Date w/o the other guy I ended up meeting date number two at the Coffee Cartel one night when I was doing homework. It wasn't on purpose, but we had been talking on OkCupid for a little bit, and he had nothing to do that night. He came up, we had a good time talking, and ended up kissing later. I don't consider it a "real" date because my good friend @thetristan came up to visit me that night as well and actually met the guy, but it was no big deal. I was interested, but only to a point. He seemed timid, which isn't what I need.
Date #3 & 4 - Simulation of Sorts Dates 3 & 4First was a nice Bosnian restaurant in South City, and second was dinner at a BBQ place with a movie both in Des Peres, MO. I liked this guy a lot, and I call this experience the "Simulation of Sorts" for more than one reason, however mostly because he seemed to "simulate" most of what I was looking for, but lacked the confidence in himself to bring that part to the surface. Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking the guy, he's actually someone I would consider a good friend at this point. I just feel like the timing was off is all.
Date # 5 and #5.5 - The British are Coming...Again This would actually be 5 and 6 had he not stood me up the first time around, so for this sake I will consider it 5 and .5 so 5.5. He had to go to the hospital because his friend had to be taken to the emergency room due to a stroke. (.5) Then a few weeks later, he decided to invite me to his apartment to watch a movie (1)... I realized quickly that he was definitely not a guy looking for the same things I was.
Date # 6 - Luna Tweep - The ones who went to the #STLladiestweetup remember this guy. He seemed nice, but really didn't follow up with anything that he seemed to vibe out that night. Like...calling a girl back. Yeah next...
Date #6.5 - Happy Birthday to Me - This is a perfect EX of how friends can really make bad decisions go a long way. This is counted as (.5) because there was no advancement to moving on with this.
Date #7 & #8 - Laundry? A date with a guy doing laundry. I count this as two dates, because we weren't planning on doing more than just the meet up for laundry (I saw it in a movie),but we ended up grabbing a burger afterwards and having a good time talking. Talked to him a few times on the phone, but life got busy.
Date #8.5 and #9.75 -More EXamples of what I shouldn't keep doing to myself. I know. I know...
Date #10 - Great Expectations of Conversations - Another encounter with Laundry guy, and the last time I will ever see him. We talked after that night, but after a few conversations over the phone, I realized he wasn't the right guy for me. Too much of a complicated, sketchy background for me.
Date #10.5 - I am not even going to go there again. I'm in my twenties...I'm allowed to make these mistakes.
Date #11 & 12 - Comb Over - The guy was trying way too hard, and frankly wasn't giving me good impressions. He seemed very nervous in all the wrong ways, and yet at the same time had these "bad boy" tendencies that kinda urked me. We went to dinner and then drinks afterwards. I would have ended it at dinner, but frankly, the dinner was so quick that I didn't really have an "out" without looking like a bitch.
Date #13 & 14 - System Administrator - Nice guy, very humble and sweet. Met him that night, had a very great conversation, met again the next day for coffee, great intentions again. Ended up becoming friends, I suppose because he never really asked me out for a "real" date.
Date #14.5 - Ex from 9 months ago, that I bought the books over. We went to dinner, he paid. I wasn't going to count this, but given recent talks I have had with him, I'm thinking I should for at least half.
Date #15 - Sometimes a Soldier, Always a jerk This wasn't that long ago. He was nice, and charismatic, but your regular, run of the mill douchebag with a need for sex in his mind.
Date # 16 & 17 - Multifaceted Geek - by far and large the one guy I've met over the last 9 months that has reminded me most of the guy I dated two Ex's ago. He takes it a step further with his talk of philosophy and politics, mixed with his archon and computer science/gaming background, and then takes it a half step back with his shyness. Whatever he lacks in outgoingness he makes up with great conversations and extremely good, humble intentions. I will be going on a second date with this guy, and definitely think there could be something real there. We started out at a Mexican restaurant and then went out for drinks afterwards. It made for a very interesting and intellectually stimulating 5 hour date... or rather two dates.
I don't know if the Multifaceted Geek is the one for me or not. That wasn't the author's point. Her point was that it takes around 17 "dates" to reach dates that you think are substantial and COULD go somewhere. It's nice to know that after a real life accidental experiment...she was right.
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