Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Rant

I hate the way I think about him all the time. He wasn't supposed to be the right person for me, and yet now I really don't know if my previous accusations are correct. I keep falling and picking myself up, hurting, and healing, and hurting again. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I am about three seconds away from breaking down, and I don't really know what will happen when I do. I can feel my face getting hot, the way that it does when the tears are about to fill my eyes. It's not that I want to be married or anything. It's not even that I want to be his girlfriend, I just want a chance... a chance at something more.. But just when I think he's giving me all chance to heal and move forward, he pulls me back again for another misleading thought...or emotion. I really don't know how much more I can take.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The way we are wired...

I was talking about this with a colleague at work, and I thought I would put my thoughts here while on my break. They say that men are wired differently than women in the sense that they can separate sex from the feeling of being in love, but I highly question that in some ways.

On the one hand, yes I agree that many men can indeed do this. I lived with someone who was clearly capable of this. Where I disagree is the statement that ALL men can do this at ALL times. Clearly some men can do this about 99% of the time, but what happens when they truly fall in love with someone? They may be able to separate it with everyone else, but what about that one person they are clearly in love with? It's something that's quite a phenomenon for me, because I really don't think you have to say "I love you" to make it obvious that you do, so for someone to say that they can separate the feeling by simply not saying "I love you" is kind of a weak argument.

Beyond the men that truly can separate the two, I believe there are men that say they can, but given the right circumstances, they too become very "mushy gushy" as women are assumed to be.

My colleague said that men and women are just wired differently sometimes, but that some men are wired very similar to women in this aspect. I would like to go a step further in saying that most of us are wired pretty much the same. I think we all have situations in which we could probably separate the two and be very happy, but at the same time, there are other situations where, given the right person, we have such an emotional, deep, love for that person that separation of the physical and the emotional is virtually impossible because they become fused together by feelings.

Men may be from Mars and women may be from Venus, but there are certain aspects of both that make us similar. We do infact all live on Earth afterall...