Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sex Offenders are a Societal Problem Too

I should be writing a paper that is due tomorrow, but I can't seem to get this off of my mind. I am a very faithful person. I agree and live by the words that Ann Frank wrote, "Despite Everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." She was wise, at a young age. When I read that book, it reminded me very much of the way I used to think as a child. I think adults get caught up in right and wrong so much, that they forget, that every adult was once an innocent child. Some innocent children are robbed, by other children, adults, family, friends, of their innocence, and they are not reassured correctly the way they need to be at a young age, and that's what leads to terrible actions as adults. The circle keeps going, and the cycle starts over and over again, until something is done to break that pattern.

I don't believe, as a society, we are doing enough to break the cycle of abuse, neglect, and sexual assault. We lock these people up, and tell them they are a shame on society and must live with the label of sex offender for the rest of their life, but is that really going to change anything? It's not going to help them, it may not even necessarily keep them from abusing children. We've all seen the case where Jaycee Dugard was locked up nearly her entire child life, and was forced to have sex, all in the back yard of a sex offender's registered house.

The news pains me, the stories pain me, but what pains me more, is when I don't see answers to my questions. How do we get back to the inherently good side of those people? When do we decide that those people deserve to get help?

I understand, protect the children, we've done that. We have a good system for protecting those children, and getting help for them. But there are always children that get sidetracked. Children that don't get the help, and then they become these adults. These adults are acting out in the form of repression. They are acting out as if they were children, and we need to attack that, not the person itself. We need to make sure that those people, are healthy, or as healthy as they can be.

Never in my life did I think I would ever positively associate myself with anyone that was a true sex offender (and not just those that ended up in unfortunate circumstances like peeing on the sidewalk), but after 25 years of feeling completely separated from that world, I have looked back into the last 11 years of my life, and realized that I was around it all the time.

A director that I had for 6 years (briefly as an intern in junior high, and four years in high school), was charged last year, my coworker was charged the semester before I graduated college, a college classmate I knew very well, but wasn't in my close circle of friends wasn't charged, but accused earlier this year, and just a month ago, one of my very best friends in college, the first guy I ever met, the reason why I know my best friend-Sheila-- of 7 years, was charged with over 100 counts dating as early as 2005.

I saw good in all of these people, but knowing what I know about some of them, I understand why they could have lead down to the path that they did. I am lucky that I had a mother that was willing to tell me right from wrong; not everyone has that privilege.

I think it's at the fault of these people what they have done to those poor children, but it is at the fault of society that they don't prevent the cycle from happening again. There is no excuse for it. These are people as much as anyone else, and now every time I think back to my "care free college years" all I think of, is sadness.

Growing up sucks... #justsayin