Birdie needs to earn her wings....

In terms of my life...I have been falling for awhile, and I couldn't seem to get back up. I kept planning alternate routes in order to make myself adjust to this completely different life than what I had planned two years ago. In my 24th year of life, I never expected to be here, still in school. I thought surely by now I would be on my way to a job that would make me happy, or at least would set the path to that happiness. All I ever want to do in life is to make a difference in the world around me. I never expected I would have to take another step back, because I already feel like I have taken several as it is. The whole process makes me tired, which is why I tend to want to sleep instead of getting my readings done.

It is because of you, that I feel my life has changed. You told me tonight that I need to shape up, that I need to take that step back in order to take the path back to my stability, back to my freedom. I need to take that step back in order to free myself from the problems in my life. You seem to have a way with saying things to me where it really hits me hard enough for me to take it in, and that is one of the many reasons why I care for you so much.

I feel like we share similar struggles in life. We both have high aspirations, and deep goals...yet not deep pockets. It feels great to have such respect for someone who gives that respect back, and doesn't make me feel ashamed to have to take that step back to a job similar to one I had at the age of 17, and again at the age of 21. Even if I feel ashamed myself.

More than anything--when I feel like giving up, when my pride gets in the way, and when I just can't bring myself to get past my own fear-- you understand me. You remind me of the horizon, and the struggle that I am fighting for. You always have a way of helping me get past my pride, because you get me better than my friends, my family, and tonight--myself. Thank you... I teared up when we talked, because I know that you don't just hear me when we have those conversations....you really do listen, and sometimes...that's all I really need.

Thank you!

Birdie