Rant

I hate the way I think about him all the time. He wasn't supposed to be the right person for me, and yet now I really don't know if my previous accusations are correct. I keep falling and picking myself up, hurting, and healing, and hurting again. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I am about three seconds away from breaking down, and I don't really know what will happen when I do. I can feel my face getting hot, the way that it does when the tears are about to fill my eyes. It's not that I want to be married or anything. It's not even that I want to be his girlfriend, I just want a chance... a chance at something more.. But just when I think he's giving me all chance to heal and move forward, he pulls me back again for another misleading thought...or emotion. I really don't know how much more I can take.